Wednesday, January 28, 2009

You're Turning Me Off

so...every1 knows facebook is clearly the center of the universe and the sun indeed is not!
recently i changed my name to the lovely singer and fashionista Keri when i initially went through the process to change my gov't name to her name it took forever so i thought facebook declined it...and i actually didnt want my name to change..but when it randomly did one day somehow it caught every1's eye. idk if the attention is good or bad. but i do know one thing..what started out as a lil joke between me and my friend Lamont (he is the one who put me on to keri and told me that we favor one another) has truly grown into an infatuation. yes every1 i love keri and i am not afraid to admit that i admire her for her taste in fashion, her talent, and her inner and outer beauty. Some of my friends joke with me and say i am obsessed...maybe? maybe not? even LAMONT says im taking it too far....but whatever! i know who i am...and i think that is the lesson i am teaching myself....

so many times people fall in love with celebrities to the point that they imitate their behavior, demeanor, and i can get with keri's swag because she is oh so feminine and so am i! so that i can not deny, but i just want to set the record straight for all of those who do not understand this undeniable infatuation that i have with "Ms. Keri BAYBEE!"....i love keri's hair, her singing, and her sense of style. and also that i somewhat look like her...i mean what more could u ask for....but in my infatuation with her...i know that my real name is Ashley Katernia Gray and i am a Hampton student and i probably will never meet Keri. i love me...the real me...this Keri thing is truly a phase and i realize that ppl actually think i am her..for pete's sake ppl from south africa are adding me as friends...LOL...but i love every1 and i love Keri....

moral of the story: in your crazy fanatic ways...or quest to find love, friendship or acceptance...know who you are first and never forget who u yourself because if you do not no one else will!

dont hate...just congratulate...

until next time love,

Ashbash K.

Lovers and Friends

"...tell me again can we be lovers and friends...oh its a good look baby...." sang Usher.

Not exactly people. its really not a good look. why would you want to be someone's lover and friend?...and i am speaking in terms of friends with benefits...catch my drift?? because ultimately all it leads to is losing that dear friend that you cherished oh so much before everything got physical in the bedroom, car, chapel, or armstrong stadium. so let's keep it real...i think its time for people to start valuing themselves way more than the "values" that society instills in you through media. come up with your own standards...and dont settle for less than what you KNOW you deserve...honestly i dont deserve to be someone's lover and friend but that's just not gonna lie it has crossed my mind a few times but in that time frame i was certainly tryna learn more about myself and over time i discovered that i dont want to be the other girl that he is cool with in the streets but gets freaky in the sheets. ya dig? this post isnt to disrespect those who have opposing opinions in any form or fashion. i respect the decisions of others and the life choices that people choose to make. however, i personally dont want to be any dude's LOVER and FRIEND....but i wanna be his "lover and his best friend all wrapped into one with a ribbon on it" sang rihanna...(get it?)

until next time,

Ashbash K.

Monday, July 21, 2008


So about a week ago me and my mother went and got matching tattoos! But of course the journey to getting them was as simple and the simple sentence above!

All summer long I kept mentioning to my mom about getting matching tattoos to bond us forever and ever amen! She wasn't really feeling it to say the least in the beginning...I even offered to pay for them. (Which offering to pay isn't something that I do) So I would leave the conversation alone for a few weeks and bring it up again. But one day when I'm chilling in the sitting area of her room, she on her bed reading a magazine, my mom randomly says..."You wanna go get tattoos today."

reluctant at first I say "well I don't know if I have the money right now..but yeah sure why not."

Getting more excited by the minute to share a valuable moment with my mom, WE hurry and get dressed and head off to East Atlanta Tattoos (oh yeah shout out to GUZIK... the artist.)

So we get there and pick out what we wanted...My mom wanted these ugly Lil hearts with wings. AND I quickly SAID "Are you serious?! I don't want a corny looking tattoo!" so we kept searching.. Finally we came across Chinese characters and their meanings... Since we were getting the same one we figured might as well get one that relates to our we simply got LOVE....but b4 we put it on our bodies I googled the symbol on my Sidekick LX to make sure the symbol was the same....Because honestly what if it meant SMELLY HOLE or APPENDICITIS!....only Asians to make sure i wasn't crazy we looked it up!

Whew okay the same symbol popped up a few times so we were convinced.

WE filled out our paperwork. I paid for the tattoos. A grand total of $100.00. And I volunteered my mother go first so she wouldn't chicken out!

NEEDLESS TO SAY...since my mom hasn't had a tattoo in a few years she was nervous....But too nervous for my liking....OMG you guys SHE KEPT whining and saying "It's Forever, it's forever" forgetting the fact that the tattoo means something and the experience of getting them meant something to me. But like i said she just kept on saying how she's 35 and blah blah blah and it will never go away....SO i got tired of hearing her complaining because it wasn't like i wasn't getting it either!! HECK I WANT 4 tattoos....don't see me complaining! LOL

So GUZIK calls us to the back....Mom lays on the chair right ankle to the ceiling...GUZIK finishes prepping..."BUZZ BUZZ," goes the needle...."Oh Lord!" goes my mom. "Ugh!!!" I replied..."Are you ready?!" asks GUZIK to my mom..."Wait idk HOLD ON!" goes mom..."OK SERIOUSLY YOU ARE KILLING ME RIGHT you need me to hold your hand mommie?!" said I. "yeah..." she replies. "it will only take him 5 minutes."

"BUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" goes the needle piercing into my moms flesh...she winces with pain a bit while tryna keep still.

(meanwhile my hand is almost broken from her clenching it with such force)

....5 minutes later mom is done..

YAY!! everyone its my turn! I'm excited but slightly nervous being that its been a few months since my first one!

GUZIK preps again......asks me if I'm ready...

"Yeah man born ready!" I replied!

"BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" goes the needle piercing my creamy beige skin....


now i know this story is so backwards because my mom was the one acting scary and when she got it didn't say a word.....but I on the other hand wasn't afraid before it happened but whined like a baby when he did the 5 MINUTE tattoo!

Ain't that something!

Maybe I wont be such a punk when I get my third and fourth one!



Tuesday, July 8, 2008

A Bouncing Check Pt. 2.... (the icing on the cake)

OK everyone, I know its been a few days but I had some family problems come up and they needed a few days to be taken care of...But I am back and ready to get this blog on the road.

But let's cut to the chase. OK so I went to the restaurant and found out that the GM (general manager) was there so I guess you could say that I got pretty lucky. I told him my issues and he really understood and told me that they have the money but something keeps happening to the account. BUT he gave me the 60 dollars and 21 cents in CA$H and told me that I would be getting cut two checks on JULY 8th which is today. So you know I am like really excited like "Oh great I'm gonna be happy now."

Today is July 8th. When I left Steak n Shake (my other job) I drove over to my old job to get my check(S) {notice the pluralization lol}. I get to the front door. A server goes, "Oh you want your check? Well Jeff (Owner) isn't here yet." I say, "OK well, do you know what time he WILL be here?"

"5:30" i just go to the mall to kill some time and look for some stuff to get my friend....(by the way i bought THE perfect gift....hope you like it!)

OK people so it's about 5:45 now and i have killed an hour of time. I pull up in my mom's Honda CRV, hopped out the car feeling great because I'm about to get PIZAID (paid) !!!!!!!!!! least that is what I THOUGHT was going to happen.

I see my fave manager Bree and she informs me that Jeff still isn't there yet. So I sat and chit chatted with a few of my old co-workers, and I even showed them the gift i bought my friend...(i got bad opinions but who cares) and I waited.....and waited...and guess what i did?....that's right waited some more.

....waiting.........waiting some more.... oookkk its about 7:30 at night....and I am still waiting.

"YESSSSSS FINALLY!" said my co-worker, when she saw Bree get the checks in her hand...and Bree is lucky if she didn't almost get bum rushed by servers considering the checks were a day late!!

BUT back to me! I follow Bree upstairs. I signed for my check. She handed it to me. I looked at it. THAT MOTHER SUCKING CHECK (notice 'check' isn't plural) said $43. 29!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK. I'm starting to think that I am being punked! What happened to the checks...dos checks...two checks...and two checks in french????? HUH HUH??? all i get is one stinking check....and it STILL wasn't right!! LORDY JESUS! I just had enough... so I calmed down...left the building...cursed the accountants name, the GM, the owner, and everyone else including customers!

But it was cool because I said to myself, "well girl its 43 more dollars in your bank acct."
So I pull up to BOA to deposit about 265 dollars...200 something was in cash...and i had only one check...So I waited in a LONNNG Line to get to the outdoor ATM machine. And YAY finally its my turn.. I slip in my Hello Kitty BOA card. Enter the Pin. Hit Checking Deposit. Cash AND Check please. put in my check...(to myself) "OK WHEW that went through." I start to put in the know a bit at a time......finally I'm done with that after it continued to spit my money back out that it could not you know I'm thinking it allll went through....

The monitor reads..."Some of your cash can not be accepted and we are unable to return it to you at this time. Please enter the amount you most recently deposited."

I say.."OK i JUST RECENTLY put in 15 dollars. so I'm gonna enter that much because it
accepted the other cash."

BOY was i wrong....the machine printed out my balance and the overview of my transaction. AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT FLIPPING THING SAID I DEPOSITED IN CASH??????



WHY me? What are you tryna tell me LORD? I Just don't understand...How can a machine take a hundred something dollars and be bold enough to tell you that it wont give it back...

So here is my GIFT to the guy that created that machine which is really a devil thief!




Saturday, July 5, 2008

Let Me Put You On

Lil Wayne


(make sure you get the one with the profanity..makes it more real)

A Bouncing Check??

So, I started this new job about a month ago. To make a long story short, I quit after 3 weeks. Simply because it was the MOST unorganized and unethical restaurant I have ever served at. I should have seen it coming when the lady who hired me (and she has never served as a waitress in her life and is only the Hiring Manager because she's married to the owner) tried to tell me that I wouldn't make a good server because their restaurant was considered "Fine Dining". A joke right? yeah I know. So back to the title. So needless to say, every time pay period comes around every ones paycheck is messed up! IDK why, but those were the stories. So from the time i started at this new place, I just kept on getting bad reviews from various people who shall not be named, about everything from money to the bartender! Crazy right? yeah I know. So here comes pay day!!! I just got out of training, I'm ready to get that "PHAT" check, and I'm gonna deposit it in my BOA acct!!! Opened the said (remember this because it isn't much money) $ i didn't freak out though I expected about 200 dollars! I head to the BOA nearby...deposit the check (this all happened on JULY 1st)

Today is July 5th. The check of $60.21 bounced...Now any smart person knows that 60 dollars from a workplace isn't much money...A place of business should have this amount of money in their account! BUT GUESS WHAT???? since its always me! THIS STUPID RESTAURANT doesn't have SIXTY FREAKING DOLLARS in their ACCOUNT!!

What kind of MESS is that? I mean really how do you operate with no money?? I just don't understand! Can someone explain to me how that works???

But I'm about to hop out of this bed! Get dressed! Hop in the car! and FLY down the road to this "place of FINE DINING" and have them explain it to me!

I'll fill you guys in on the interesting convo soon to come!